What began as a traditional harvest festival* back in 1621
has now morphed into the greatest holiday of thanks on the planet.
And here are some things we are thankful for:
-the Wampanoag Indians who taught the Pilgrims how to cultivate the land and fish.
We especially must single out Squanto who taught the foreigners
(we are still not sure if they had proper paperwork to enter the country)
how to grow corn and catch eel.
-President Lincoln for proclaiming the last Thursday of November
as a national day of Thanksgiving in 1863**
-President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who took this proclamation and turned it into a law,
decreeing on December 26th, 1941, that the 4th Thursday of November
be designated a National Day of Thanksgiving
-Marcus Urann, who took some left over cranberries and put them in a can,
essentially creating cranberry sauce...which is the greatest thing to ever happen to a turkey...
well, maybe not; the greatest thing to happen to a turkey was Julia Child
taking a handful of butter and massaging it into the bird, between the skin and the meat...
I still have wet dreams thinking about this.
By the by, Mr. Urann was also one of the founders of Ocean Spray.
-Macy's Department Store...since 1924, you have ushered giant balloons and floats down our thoroughfares. Most importantly, you also brought along marching bands and cheerleaders.
For the future, please leave a few of the floats at home and bring even more marching bands
(like Colony High School in Anchorage, Alaska) and cheerleaders...or at least the cast of Hamilton.
-NBC, for broadcasting the National Dog Show immediately after the parade
-these United States of America (+ its 16 territories, especially Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands,
Guam, American Samoa, Northern Mariana Islands...Americans one and all)
and every one of its 323 million inhabitants...
we give ultimate thanks for thee.
*yes, yes, once again we recognize our Canadian friends to the north
who apparently did celebrate the first Thanksgiving
in 1578, in the form of Sir Martin Frobisher kissing the frozen terrain of Newfoundland,
and being very, very, very thankful for being on solid terra firma one again
**of course, there was a woman behind this great proclamation of Lincoln
and her name was Sarah Josepha Hale.
As a magazine editor (Godey's Lady Book),
she used her pulpit for 40 years to lobby for this day of thanks,
also believing the celebration would help to unify the northern and southern
contingents of the country.