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The Tiger King for President

a man and a woman taking a selfie

The days outside are getting longer.
And the days inside the terroir bunker are getting crazier.
Mom is only making meatloaf.
The VCR has eaten my Pretty in Pink tape.
The drip coffee machine is kaput
(I have reverted back to “Chilean café,” which essentially is Nescafe Clásico).
Strange times indeed.
Presently, we are dreaming about Joe Maldonado-Passage
(aka, Joseph Schreibvogel…aka, Joe Exotic).
and wondering what might be the state of affairs if he were President:

-the Summer White House would be in Wynnewood, Oklahoma
-mullets would be the mandated hairstyle within the West Wing,
along with pink shirts / gun holsters
-a national dental plan, titled the John Finlay Has 28 Teeth…Thank God! coverage
-the Big Cat Public Safety Act (H.R. 1380) would be law
-the official welcome for all national ceremonies would be:
“Hey, all you cool cats and kittens.”
-Joe Gone Wild would be on permanent repetition on PBS
-Rick Kirkham would be our new Ken Burns…
his next feature would be on feeding squirrels in Central Park
-all animals, in all zoos, would be returned to the wild. Period.
-Bhagavan “Doc” Antle would be the minister of a mega church in Dillon, Texas…or in jail
-the 28th Amendment would codify same sex marriage into law,
along with the Stars & Stripes adopting rainbow colors
-Don Lewis would be operating a seaside cocktail shack in Costa Rica
Ultimately, our biggest thoughts and dreams are with our community.
Please remain steadfast in your desire to help
your family, your neighbors, yourself.
The other side is in the distance
and we long for the opportunity to embrace all of you again.
Please also remember terroir dollars are still available
and each dollar will go to our incredible team.

Upon re-opening, these terroir dollars (aka, Gift Certificate) can be used to purchase
yummy food / yummy wine / yummy beer / yummy spirits
or a one-on-one session with the General & Manager
We are grateful for all of your support.