Terroir Salutes Santa

Who needs a glass of Riesling?
Santa Claus needs a big glass of Riesling.
Why?
Because last January 2nd, Santa started working on all the new toys and presents
for the kids of the world and the task is almost complete
(except…I am not getting the Stomp Rocket Dino-Soar Rocket Launcher
 I asked for due to a minor...well, okay, major...transgression this past Summer of Riesling at terroir)
Because Santa is a fan of the New York Jets.
Because Santa is a big footie fan.
And was hoping to get Mrs. Claus, the elves and all the reindeer,
tickets to the upcoming World Cup 2026.
But due to the dynamic pricing system of F.I.F.A., Santa is priced out of the market.
Because Santa tasted the Stéphane Rousset Crozes-Hermitage “Les Picaudières” 2023,
and his head is still spinning (but only from the majesty and transcendent nature of the grape juice).
A big cup of coffee will certainly bring Santa back down to earth.
Because Santa is an admirer of Detective Carl Morck of Dept. Q.
And lordy, he exhausted the entirety of his wine inventory
just coming to grips with the singular mindset of Detective Carl Morck.
Because the polar ice cap is truly shrunk and what was once a palatial estate,
with many, many, many miles of barren, frozen tundra to the nearest body of water,
is now a cottage on wooden pilings, surrounded by sandbags, with narwhals lounging on the front steps.
 (P.S. Santa was scheduled to speak at COP30 in Belém but cancelled due to elf labor issues.)
Because Santa was riding high on his Bitcoin investment,
dreaming of grand plans to finally purchase a 2nd home in San Diego (he loves the Padres) 
and maybe open a slushie stand.
Alas, the crypto market is not as resilient as Rudolph during a blizzard.
Because Santa recently saw Patti Smith in concert,
celebrating the 50th anniversary of Horses.
And damn, Santa really, really, really loves
the energy and spirit of the godmother of punk.
And Santa really, really, really needs to expand his wine horizons
with the glorious grape that is Riesling.
Santa Claus, we raise our glass of Riesling to you!